Narcissism and narcissistic personalities.

Like a lot people, you’ve most likely have encountered a few people who are narcissistic individuals. You know the type – the person who is typically described as vain and self-absorbed. They come across as someone that thinks they are extremely important and expect everyone else to be aware of how important they are to the point of obnoxiousness.

Though many people can be selfish and every so often be a little vain, some individuals take it to extreme levels. When these traits and other traits similar to it are a persons defining characteristics they often cause a damaging effect on themselves and anyone who is a part of their life – these traits usually signal a mental health condition known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder or for short Narcissism. 

As with all disorders, the degree of severity can vary quite a lot. They can’t admit being wrong and are hypersensitive to anything that resembles criticism. They want to control how other people see them and can presented in any number of ways. “Narcissists come in all shapes, sizes, and degrees,” says Dr. Samuel Lopes DeVictoria, “He/she may look, by appearance, intimidating and scary to the average person. He could also play the “nice guy/person” whom everyone likes. 

1. Lies and Exaggerations

Narcissists are likely to create lies and exaggerations which is usually about themselves and even about others, and have the tendency of putting others down to make themselves seem better by comparison. Though narcissists often try to make themselves seem superior and “special” by either bragging (directly or indirectly), taking credit for things they shouldn't be taking credit for, and other forms of self-aggrandizing behavior, narcissists tend to focus on making others feel inferior through criticism, and intimidation. Narcissists are are often proficient at distorting facts, character assassinations, and intimidation to boost their self-worth and maintain an image.

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2. Rarely Admit Flaws and Are Highly Aggressive When Criticized

Many narcissists can react poorly when called up on their negative behavior. When challenged, the narcissist is likely to do one of a few things; fight,have a temper tantrum, make excuses, flat out denial, shift the blame elsewhere or just use passive aggression like the silent treatment or resentment. The Narcissist can resort to deflection by using criticisms against their to counter any that was made originally to them to either intimidate or oppress their victim. Some Narcissists view relationships as competitive rather than collaborative team based relationship where one has to be in control or on top of the other.

3. False Image Projection

Narcissists tend to project false images of themselves to the world, in order to hide their shortcomings and insecurities.They give themselves his “trophy complex" where they use people, objects, accomplishments to further feed into their exaggerated personas and self image, similar to self completion theory. Many narcissists like to view themselves as someone who is all-powerful and strong, with their opinion being the one that matters most regardless of who they actually are or what the situation is. In essence, narcissists want others to worship them, these external facades become pivotal parts of their false identity, replacing the real and more vulnerable self.

4. Manipulation and control

Narcissists have a tendency to make decisions for others bend to their own agenda. Narcissists may use people who are acquaintances or even people who are close to cover up any flaws and shortcomings. Narcissists are not above of using guilt, blame, and victim-hood as tactics to manipulate their victimsNarcissists conduct psychological manipulation toward individuals micromanaging and controlling relationships, including their victims how they should think, feel, and behave and they can often become critical, intimidating, and/or hostile toward those who displease them. 

While the narcissist manipulate to compensate for a desperate sense of deficiency (a lacking of self worth of who they really are), this psychological type have an inability or an unwillingness to actually relate to people  as human beings. They have a need to become “special” and “superior” by being less themselves and de-humanizing others.

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The Pygmalion Effect - The Psychology of Having High Expectations

First named by the psychologist Robert Rosenthal; The Pygmalion Effect is where the someone who is in a position of leadership has expectations of someone to perform a task well and can encourage them to actually meet those high expectations and display higher levels of performance compared to if there wasn't any expectations at all. Conceptually it is similar to having Confirmation Bias where expected behaviors are shaped creating an expected outcome.

An example of the The Pygmalion Effect is in an office setting where Supervisor A is considerably favorable to one of his office workers and has high expectations him to do well in any task that is given to him. This office worker in response thrives under his supervisors leadership and does his utmost to live up to his high expectations. It motivated him to work harder and to do his best. 

Then then another supervisor comes along, Supervisor B. Things changed when Supervisor B replaced Supervisor A. Supervisor B did not think so highly of this favorable office worker. In fact, it would be safe to say he didn't think very highly of him whatsoever. Eventually Supervisor B's low expectations became a reality. The office worker made mistakes and didn't seem to have the same pride in his work he did when Supervisor A was in charge, his mind went blank whenever he was asked questions, his confidence evaporated along with his motivation. His performance suffered in Supervisor B's presence.

What seemed to have happened was the office workers good performance was encouraged by Supervisor A's high expectations and because he worked well Supervisor A would praise him on his good work which would spur this office worker to keep perform well again. And this would cycle over again and again. The opposite would happen with Supervisor B would have little to no expectations of the office workers performance causing him to behave accordingly, having a similar cycle.



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Psychologist Robert Rosenthal performed a study which proved that if teachers were led to expect a higher level of performance from students, then these students performance would improve accordingly.

 A selection of students in a California school in the 1960s were given a disguised IQ test. The teachers were told at the start of the study that some of their students could be expected to be "intellectual bloomers" that year, performing better than expected compared to the other classmates. The bloomers' names were revealed only to the teachers. At the end of the study, all students were again tested with the same IQ-test used at the start of the study. 

True enough the experimental group the "intellectual bloomers" performed higher than the other students keeping in mind that they were chosen at random. The conclusion of the study was that the teachers may have without realizing that they had given the supposed academic bloomers more personal interactions, more positive feedback, approval, and other positive gestures, such as nods and smiling as a result of having higher expectations. On the other hand, teachers would may have paid less attention to low-expectancy students, seat them farther away from teachers in the classroom, and offer less reading and learning contributing to a poorer learning experience. 

The power of the Pygmalion effect, can be used for better or for worse in the classroom, in the workplace, in the military, and elsewhere.

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Understanding introverts

Normally misunderstood, introverts generally are lower energy and conservative than their extravert counterparts, but because western society often favours the extravert for their gregarious nature and their outwardly focused approach to life and the people within it introverts often get looked over and even worse misunderstood. As written previously in this post regarding introverts sometimes being introverted can be misconstrued as shy, reserved, even unsociable but in actual fact it is just a lower energy way of interacting with their given environment and they are energised by lower energy activities such as reading, socializing with a smaller group of close friends and long walks.

Susan Cain, the author of Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking speaks in this video below in depth about introversion and their inner strengths and characteristics as well as how some environmental factors such as businesses, classrooms and even group think have their part to play when utilising an introvert personality. She also talks about her own personal experiences on being an introvert and how it affects her, a truly illuminating video from a speaker who clearly has had a lot of experience and done a good level of research on this subject.  

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The Dark Triad. The personality of evil.

First introduced by Psychologists Delroy L. Paulhus and Kevin M. Williams the dark triad is a set of overlapping personality traits which host a group of undesirable behaviours. These three personality traits are narcissism, machiavellism and psychopathy. Some may say that these traits are can bring out the worst in human behaviour. People who score high on the dark triad personality scale can be manipulative, have a high sense of worth, with a superficial charm while lacking a considerable sense of empathy for others.

These are the three personality traits and their respective descriptions which make up the dark triad. 

Narcissism
- High sense of entitlement
- Seek status and prestige
- An aura of cockiness
- Can be highly self centred
- Engage in a lot of short term hook ups
- Easily aggressive in the face of criticism
- Loves praise

Psychopathy
- Has a superficial charm
- Have an inflated view of their own abilities
- Lack of empathy for others emotions
- High levels of deception, manipulativeness and craftiness
- Lack of remorse or guilt
- Highly impulsive
- Generally has a bad temper

Machiavellism
- Manipulates others to get their own way
- Very cunning and calculative
- Very intelligent
- Highly observant
- Very aware of situations and surroundings


People who possess the dark triad personality traits are manipulative in nature and are well aware of what they can and cannot get away with, this maybe because they are either high in intelligence or they have had a lot of experience in social interactions so as a result they know which kinds of people they are dealing with and know what buttons to push without bringing too much attention to themselves. Their social mindfulness means that they are usually well aware of how they come across to people and have a good handle on their appearance, this goes hand in hand with their narcissism; their up keep to how they appear not only involves how people perceive them but how they look physically such as their fashion, posture, physique etc. Because of their narcissistic tendencies it would be hard to form close friendships with them as they would be more concerned with maintaining and improving an image rather than keeping a close friendship.  
Keeping in mind that they are manipulative and care significantly about their image, what may give them an edge coupled with the characteristics previously mentioned is their lack of social fearlessness. This means that they are more likely to do what they would want to do without fear of being judged by others as long as it doesn't interfere with their perceived status. Surprisingly being emotionally cold in the face of potential social judgement can be seen as a good characteristic to have because you are more likely to take up opportunities you wouldn't otherwise take if you were feeling self conscious or have the feeling the you are being judged. On the other hand this emotionally coldness can be a hindrance on an interpersonal level as a dark triads lack of thought for other peoples thoughts or feelings mean that they may lack a filter for their words and actions which at some point or another may offend or upset someone. Again this can make it difficult to keep long term relationships as most people will find this trait emotionally draining and would not like to have someone this insensitive around them.

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The dark triad can come in different forms, they be someone who is an emotional bully, talking down to others while seeking status and prestige; this can be a corporate boss or an ambitious corporate employee where their line of work involves using people as a vehicle to reach their aims; their general mentality is that the ends justifies the means regardless of who gets hurt. The person with a dark triad personality can also be one who is calculating, impulsive and doesn't think about the consequences of their actions nor cares about them; this can be someone who is promiscuous, has a lot of sexual partners and finds a way to engage with someone sexually even if they are in a relationship, or someone who takes joy in taking risks at the expense of others such as a conman or fraudster. The list can go on.

Of course most people on some level can and do display any one trait or all of the three traits which make up the dark triad as these characteristics are helpful in certain situations such as attracting a potential mate, bad boys are especially good at this because they are typical dark triads in nature. Their narcissism means they look after how they look, combined with their machiavellism means that they are in control and know what the are doing while the psychopathy (not in the serial killer sense) part of them means that they are impulsive and exciting without caring too much about any particular outcome which is also very attractive. Using some of these traits in your personal life without being excessive with them can be helpful rather than a hindrance, keeping in mind that moderation is key.  

Have you asked your self ''am I a dark triad?'' or ''do I display some of these characteristics?'' Take this dark triad test to see how much of the traits discussed you exhibit. You may find the results interesting.

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The confirmation bias and seeing only what you want to see.

Being in a world where there is conflicting information can make it a difficult job to make sense of things, and because of this we have a need to filter out information so we don't overload our heads with conflicting thoughts causing confusion. Our need to make sense of things on the other hand can also be a hindrance when we go too far the other end by fixating on one idea and only excepting information supporting this idea whilst ignoring everything else even though it may discredit your original decision for a good reason... this is what we call the confirmation bias. 

The confirmation bias can be thought of as a self fulfilling prophecy where because you expect something to turn out in a particular fashion where you end up interpreting all signs confirming your expectations correct whilst disregarding evidence that proves those same expectations invalid. In extreme cases some may reinterpret contrary evidence as further evidence to their expectation/argument. For example when an acquaintance who you've made your mind up as someone who is generally unpleasant gives you an unexpected compliment which they genuinely mean well by, you may interpret it as sarcasm or a subtle dig at you, either way you perceive this compliment negatively because that's what you expect from this person no matter how genuine it came across.

What it really comes down to is expectations, and your expectations can shape your perceptions thus confirming your expectations, your a trapped in a loop if you will. Robert Anston speaks about this in his book Prometheus Rising , in his own words he writes ''what the thinker thinks, the prover proves''. He also gives an example in his book that if the thinker thinks that the sun moves around the Earth then the prover will organize perceptions to fit that thought; if the thinker then changed its mind then the prover will reorganize all evidence to again fit that perception.

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A couple of examples where the confirmation bias can be recognised are..

Stereotypes: Stereotypes is what the confirmation bias is in essence, as a type of individual has certain expectations set upon them and anything someone from this group does that seemingly relates to those expectations confirms the stereotype that is set upon them, even if it is out of character for them.


The media: The media can often be used to propagate the confirmation bias by using selective images, sound bites or carefully chosen stories to further confirm an idea which is already believed by many people. It is believed some ideas are fabricated to further other agenda's.


Self image: Your self image is something that can be reinforced by your experiences. If you see yourself as someone who is well natured of course you will do good natured things accordingly and while this happens people may take notice and act positively towards you and even tell you how good natured you are thus strengthening your self image as a good natured person.


Study by Peter Wason
A british psychologist named Peter Wason who coined the term confirmation bias in the 1960's conducted a psychology experiment to test his theory where he gave a group of people a triplet set of numbers ''2-4-6''. The task was to identify the rule that applied to the three numbers and for the subjects to find the rule. Wason instructed that they may construct other triplet sets of numbers to test out their assumptions regarding the first triplet; for every triple set of numbers the experimenter would tell them whether or not it followed the rule. The subjects formed a hypothesis that the rule was a sequence of even numbers and tried numbers that followed this rule such as ''4-8-10'', ''6-8-12'', ''20-22-24'' which the experimenters confirmed to them that each of these numbers obeyed the rule, as each triplet was given a positive confirmation the subjects felt more confident about their hypothesis that the rule was even numbers, not long after a few more tries they were convinced that they found they rule they were looking for.

It turned out the subjects were incorrect and had not discovered the rule to the original sequence, the rule was simply increasing numbers. Almost all the subjects that were involved in this experiment formed a similar hypothesis and formed number sequences that proved their hypothesis while very few asked questions or tried to form number sequences that may disprove their hypothesis. They only confirmed what they believed was true. 

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Being an extrovert: The good and the bad.

A term first introduced by psychologist Carl Jung, extraversion is a personality trait where a person directs their energy outwards by seeking stimulus from either being social and outgoing, taking risk taking activities and generally seeking excitement from the outside environment. These traits are contrary to being an introvert. The modern western world often praises extrovert characteristics which is usually perceived as being well adjusted and often socially intelligent; to quote Susan Cain the author of the book Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking ...

 ''We live in a culture of personality, where extraversion is ideal, a far departure from the past that was the culture of character which prized honour and discipline.''

Naturally being an extrovert comes with a lot more emotionally rich experiences leading to possibly a more varied lifestyle than introverts; usually keeping an eye open to meet new people and networking opportunities extroverts generally have more doors opened for them due to the sheer amount of socializing they do and prefer being around the company of other people and being included in novelty or risky taking situations.

Extrovert characteristics
These are the general characteristics of  someone with an extravert personality may possess, though this may not be an absolute description for every extrovert but it will give you a good outline of their overall demeanour.

- Outspoken
- Thrives in the company of other people
- Constantly seeks new experiences
- Easily bored
- Drawn to crowds
- Generally quite animated
- Assertive
- Responsive to external stimulus 
- Opinionated

Pro's of being an extrovert
There are definitely some positives in regards to having an extrovert personality trait. Extroverts are very outgoing and are usually motivated to attend social gatherings and mingle with new people exposing themselves to a variety of social interactions, this may explain why extroverts usually have a story to tell because of this frequent exposure to new interactions and situations. On a similar note because of the quantity of interactions extroverts get involved in they learn their social skills at a faster rate than an introvert would. Their constant craving for social interactions and proactiveness in this regards means that they can make friends easily, are easy to get to know as they often let their thoughts and feelings be known and love to be engaged in conversation to a wide variety of people whether it is one on one or a group discussion. Extroverts aren't known to shy away from the spotlight they can handle social pressure quite well while some may even welcome it, this comes with their love of being the focus of attention; a reason why you may find a large amount of extroverts in the entertainment industry. They usually are very upbeat people with high self esteem, with the ability to make many friends they can flourish in circumstances where there are groups and even crowds of people. Lastly their lust for excitement can translate into their lifestyle or hobbies they choose, they can be career choices such as being in the media, being a fire-fighter, deep sea diver etc., or risk taking ventures like skydiving, tornado chasing or maybe an extreme sport like rock climbing or snowboarding. These kind of hobbies or career choices keeps their day emotionally rich and keeps them highly engaged mentally also.

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Con's of being an extrovert
Believe it or not being extroverted does have some down falls despite the positives discussed earlier. Though extroverts do have the ability to meet and greet with a lot of people; often a lot of the people an extrovert meets will just be acquaintances and nothing more and that means a lot of shallow relationships, this is because there often isn't enough time to delve in and develop a meaningful relationship with each and every person they meet. From time to time they also may have to learn to break off from undesirable relationships because due to the sheer amount of people they may meet they will eventually come across people they feel they do not mingle well with or worse not get along with at all. The need to be constantly engaged with another person can be a hindrance to the extrovert  as they can find it quite difficult to be alone or in solitude for too long, even something as simple as reading a book in a quiet room can be quite a task to some extroverts, they find that either they get incredibly bored very easily or their mind starts to wonder due to their short attention span and need for an external stimulus. People can see extroverts as attention seekers and even a little shallow. Though most people enjoy the company of an extrovert person because of their upbeat nature, with enough time they can feel a sense hollowness in  their relationship between them and the extrovert because they feel they haven't really gotten to know them past their social persona.


As stated in the last post no one is completely extroverted or introverted and are usually a balance between the two and may swing one way or the other depending on a variety of factors.

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Being an Introvert: The good and the bad.

Introversion, a term introduced in the 1920's by psychologist Carl Jung is a personality trait or an attitude where a person is prone to directing their energy towards themselves whether it's from deep reflective thinking, reading books or just enjoying their own company, where as extroverts directing their energy outwards with activities such as socializing, playing a team sport, risk taking etc. In the modern world today it is more desirable to be more extroverted and outgoing, this is where you have people encouraging other people to ''go get yourself noticed'' or ''let your voice be heard'' or ''show everyone what your made of'', with that said people with an introvert personality can often be misconstrued as being withdrawn and shy but actually this isn't the case at all. Introverts aren't necessarily unsociable, they are just sociable in a different way to extroverts, they prefer more low key activities involving close friends in a small group setting or deep, intimate one to one conversations with a good friend.

Introvert characteristics
These are some general characteristics someone with an introvert personality may possess, though this may not be an absolute description for every introvert but it will give you a good outline of their overall demeanour.

- Quiet
- Have a few but close friends
- Enjoy their own company
- Independent
- Internally energised
- Self Aware
- Keeps their personal life to themselves
- Don't impose themselves vigorously
- Deep/complex thinkers



Pro's of being an Introvert
Contrary to the negative connotations of an introvert personality and their psychology, there are of course advantages to being an introvert. Generally being less talkative than others introverts lend towards having good listening skills making them good at connecting and empathizing with the people they interact with because they are able to allow the other person to talk more and let them reveal more of their thoughts and feelings than they otherwise would with someone who talks just as much or a lot more, this is one of the reasons why introverts can hold deep and meaningful conversations as they are able to give the other party their full attention. Because most introverts are natural deep thinkers they can give you in depth and well thought out answers when in conversation and when faced with a difficult decision they are likely to weigh up there options logically and carefully which is why they can be effective leaders such as Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and Abraham Lincoln. Lastly introverts can be very independent because they often don't need approval and can enjoy their own company while concentrating on close relationships instead of many acquaintances which can make them quite private as people giving them an aura of mystery which can perk peoples interest.



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Con's of being an Introvert
In the modern age where being an extrovert is seen as desirable and seems to open more doors especially in sales and the entertainment industry being an introvert definitely has its disadvantages. Because they are private in nature and guard their thoughts and emotions it can be difficult for them to form friendships with many people, this maybe partly because they are not as socialized as other people having not learnt the necessary skills to be a social butterfly due to being used to having their own personal space and distance. Another disadvantage is the ability to be outspoken or speak their mind, this can be in the workplace situation or in a social setting making them feeling isolated and cause them to withdraw even further than they have already. Though being introvert or enjoying your own company isn't usually the problem, it is the perception of being an introvert which can make people think it is a social deficiency to not want to be constantly around others, this in itself can itself cause people to doubt your character and perceive you differently to other people.

Usually people aren't a complete introvert or even completely extroverted, they usually are a balanced between the two depending on how they feel, how their day pans out or maybe the environment they are currently in requires them to be more one than the other. Having a mixture of both is necessary as balance is more beneficial than extremes.

The next post will be discussing the psychology of extroverts and both their advantages and disadvantages.

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Sibling psychology

Scientists and researchers of psychology believe birth order has influence over the development of our personality though there are many other factors as to how you initially turn out e.g. relationships, life experience, DNA etc. The mixture of your sibling order whether being first, second, third or fourth child and how your parents treat you because of your birth order aids in your overall behaviour and has an effect to how you develop in your infant, teen to adult life. These traits may not be apparent with absolutely every child in correlation to their birth order but they are a common occurrence in their ranking or birth order.

First child

The first child is known to be the most adult like of all the siblings this may be because the parents are still learning the ropes on how to raise a child and want to get it right the first time so there will be more attention and one on one time with their child, being the oldest sibling they will naturally learn to be conscientious and develop leadership skills as they learn to look after their younger brothers or sisters acting similar to a surrogate parent which will give them a sense of responsibility and gain authoritative skills. With more overall interactions with their parents than the rest of their siblings first borns mature quicker and tend to aspire to be more driven, and ambitious and high achievers.

Because in their infancy they typically interact with their parents more it is arguable that they aspire to be like parents or at least want to replicate some their behaviours learning to be more controlled and understand tasks quicker at an earlier age. this translates to later stages in life in their careers.

Characteristics of the first born.

-More serious than most children

-Has a high sense of responsibility

-More adult like than other children

-Can be quite controlling over other children

Middle child

Because they are not the first child or the baby of the family the middle child often feels left out of place, they feel they have no real significance or status in the family so they of set out to make their own, this can be in a form of a rebellious streak, attention seeking or even extreme secrecy (think emo's). Though they do feel a sense of isolation they normally are emotionally savvy and have good intuition as some learn to play off their older siblings and learn to interact with their younger siblings.

As adults middle children generally are socialites and able to make friends with a wide variety of different people this maybe because of their challenging role in their family unit having no real role as the responsible first born who looks after the younger sibling s or the immature last born who gets a lot of attention by being the baby of the family, so having to work harder to gain attention this means creating their own ways of interacting with the family. As a result they learn to be in tune with their siblings emotions making them exceptionally good with people in the long run.

Characteristics of the middle child.

-Sometimes rebellious

-Outgoing and friendly

-Very adaptable

-Struggles for attention

-Risk taking tendencies

Last borns

Being the baby of the family the last born is know to be free spirited, creative and outgoing often they can be mischievous and quite aware they can get away with it, this is due to parents having a more relaxed attitude to his or her up bringing as they would have had several children already making them less authoritative to the younger children. Usually they are frequently spoiled and used to getting their own way making them quite confident in themselves in regards to socializing with other children and at times they are very charismatic. Generally quite happy as children they go through their infant years getting spoilt and being looked after teaching them that they can get attention at a whim, knowing this they get used to the attention and this carries itself into their adult years.

In their adult years last born's are very social, great at making friends and are charismatic. Used to getting their own way they love the spotlight, their careers usually involve people and socializing such as sales, acting, being a musician and being television presenters.

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Characteristics of the last born.

-Spontaneous

-Manipulative

-Used to getting their own way

-Love the limelight

-Very sociable

-Can be quite self centred

-Can get bored quickly

-Can be charming or charismatic

Only children

These children by far out of the other children with siblings are very close to being little adults this is because they have limited interactions with other children, since they have no siblings they wind up learning a large chunk of their behaviour from their parents which explains why they are normally quite independent and controlled in comparison to other children. They are very mature, very responsible but they can be quite spoilt being the only child in the house and the centre of attention, this can make them demanding and self centred.

As adults they strive to be successful and often they are, this is potentially because of high exposure to adults at a young age, they also can be fussy and want everything their own particular way as that is what they are used to .

Characteristics of the only child.

-Gets along with adults easier than other children

-Natural leader

-High level of self control

-Can be demanding due to being spoilt

-Mature and responsible

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Understanding motivation.

Definition.

mo-ti-va-tion   [moh-tuh-vey-shuh-n]

Noun
1. the act or an instance or motivating, or providing with a reason to act a certain way: I don't understand her motivation was for quitting her job. Synonyms: motive, inspiration, inducement, cause, impetus.
2. the state or condition of being motivated: We know that these students have strong motivation to learn 
3. something that motivates; inducement; incentive: Clearly the companies motivation is profit.


Motivation is known as the reason behind an action or behaviour. This is the driving force and what causes us to begin and then commit to an action whether its going to the shop because you're hungry, going for a jog to get into shape, read a book to increase your knowledge etc. The list goes on. When finding your own motivations there are a few components to help build and maintain motivation.

Goal setting
When setting goals it is important to set them in a way that they are realistic and achievable, nothing will be more deflating than a goal which is far too unrealistic and out of reach. For example you may want to make £10,000 in 6 months but just this goal alone in its self can seem quite a feat depending on how much you are earning already. What you want to do is make mini-goals that will stream line themselves directly towards your main goal making it that much more easier to achieve. So once you have achieved one mini-goal you are one step closer to your main goal, then you focus on to the next mini-goal getting you closer again. Think of it as a staircase heading towards a treasure chest, each step is a mini-goal and the main goal is the treasure chest.

Extrinsic motivation
Extrinsic motivation is when someone is motived by an external incentive of one form or another. This can be a trophy at the end of a game, money to perform a deed, even praise from other people. A psychologist named Mark Lepper performed some psychology researched on motivation where he asked two groups of children to do some drawings. One group was promised a medal for the drawings whilst the other group was promised nothing. the children were given paper and crayons to do their work, what was observed was the reward group spent less time on their work than the no reward group, meaning the motivation of the reward pushed the children to work faster and harder in hope of receiving their medal. Lastly extrinsic motivations can come in many forms such as praise, money, prizes, medals trophies, recognition. It all depends on what you want and what you are after.

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Intrinsic motivation
A very simple motivational factor where you engage in an activity just for the sake of doing it, you have no reason to do it other than the enjoyment of it. This is actually is more powerful than extrinsic motivation because your very own values align with performing the activity itself meaning you doing it is part of your identity as a person (as cheesy as it sounds). For instance most people have a hobby which they are intrinsically motivated, a sport you like doing because you've being doing it since you were young or collect stamps because you love the look of them and keep them, even going to the gym because it makes you feel healthy and fit. Arguably intrinsic motivation is another word for passion and people who are passionate about what they do tend to get further than people who are extrinsically motivated.

Persistence
Persistence is a mixture of everything I have mentioned above but mostly it would relate to intrinsic motivation. This means actually pushing yourself to reach to the end of your overall goal despite all the hurdles, bumps and hiccups you will naturally encounter along the way. It takes a certain amount of drive to take punishment and keep pushing forward but the rewards always outweigh the punishment as the delay will make victory taste that much sweeter when you finally get it. 

Usually when you do something for the first time you never get it right straight away, you probably practised until you got the hang of it and now comfortable with it. Now imagine giving up at the first sign of trouble. Now imagine having that attitude with everything you do. You'd get nothing done. You'd essentially be weak as you wouldn't have the inner strength to see anything through. Nothing ever comes easy, you have to push yourself towards your maximum limit to get to where you want to be. Sometimes things make come easier than others but sometimes thats just one skill you've previously worked hard at already being translated into another skill. Similar to a professional journalist turning into a successful book writer.


''Persistence is the twin sister of excellence. One is a matter of quality, another is a matter of time.''
Author unknown

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Self image.

A persons self image is a collection of ideas, thoughts and experiences they have in regards to themselves. It is a mental picture of the self which can be subject to change, and when it does it's either through external experiences or through internalizing judgement and/or feedback from others. This is how we create our self concept, it is how we think we look, how we think we come across to others, and more importantly how we perceive ourselves. 

The construction of the self

In early childhood the self image is obviously at its infancy, we haven't gained barely any life experience to properly have an idea of what the self is. We are essentially a blank slate. Roughly at the early of age of 3 years old we begin to become aware of ourselves through experience of other objects within our close surrounding areas realising we can affect objects around us and from there on curiosity ensues. We begin touching things, putting things in our mouth, we explore what's around us. Fast forward a few years to where we have now developed speech and we can now voice our own opinions, more importantly voice our opinions about ourselves. At this age we are a bit more self aware, when we describe our selves we give very definitive labels such as I am tall, I have blue eyes, I have dark hair. Then as time goes on and we become older we learn more about ourselves then these labels become more intricate and they become more comparative using more qualities, traits and evaluations depending on how you think others see you. (think about when you was asked about yourself in a job interview)

High self esteem
This is when we have an overall positive self image, this is created through positive experiences, positive interactions with other people and having the perception of all experiences as positive overall even if they don't seem to be (important). This mentality has an affect on your actions by giving you confidence and conviction with everything you do and with that you will have the ability to not think about what others are thinking and will accept yourself as you are. There are other factors such as...

-Good, strong sense of self
-Having good respect for your own self beliefs and values
-Knowing your self and what you stand for
-Knowing your own strengths


 Low self esteem
As opposed to high esteem having low self esteem generally having a poor self image. This is created through bad experiences whether it is through people being negative towards you or experiencing bad situations. Like having high self esteem often it is just the perception of a situation as negative which can keep the person in a negative loop, the more they think negatively the more likely that person will interpret a situation as negative even if its positive.
Other factors are..

-Weak sense of self
-You feel at cause not affect (''Why me?'' as opposed to ''how did I do this?'')
-Little or no beliefs or values
-Low self respect
-Fixation on own weaknesses instead of strengths

Social comparison theory

A theory first coined by social psychologist Leon Festinger in 1954, according to his social psychology based theory it has been said that individuals have a drive to evaluate themselves and their behaviors to eliminate uncertainty. People are often comparing their behaviors and skills to others to have an idea of what is correct and how good they are at their current behavior or skill level, similar to observational learning. He also theorizes that there are two types of social comparisons, an upward comparison and a downward comparison. An upward comparison is when someone compares themselves who are better off, an amateur boxer comparing himself to a professional boxer is an example, this usually happens if someone is looking for a role model or wants to make improvements on themselves.

A downwards comparisons by contrast is when someone who compares themselves to someone who is worse off than them, an example is a well paid sales man comparing himself to a school janitor, this type of comparison typically makes a person makes feel better about themselves, this is why people with low self esteem tend to make downward comparisons. 

There are two forms of downward comparisons, the first is a passive downwards comparison when someone who compares themselves to a pre-existing negative situation such as someone who is in financial difficulty comparing themselves to someone who is already homeless, the other is an active downwards comparison where somebody creates a situation were someone is worse off than them this could be with the use of derogatory comments or making sure they feel belittled through humiliation or an ''accident'' giving them the opportunity to make a downwards comparison. Again, downwards comparisons are usually used by people with low self esteem to elevate their sense of self.

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