Narcissism and narcissistic personalities.

Like a lot people, you’ve most likely have encountered a few people who are narcissistic individuals. You know the type – the person who is typically described as vain and self-absorbed. They come across as someone that thinks they are extremely important and expect everyone else to be aware of how important they are to the point of obnoxiousness.

Though many people can be selfish and every so often be a little vain, some individuals take it to extreme levels. When these traits and other traits similar to it are a persons defining characteristics they often cause a damaging effect on themselves and anyone who is a part of their life – these traits usually signal a mental health condition known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder or for short Narcissism. 

As with all disorders, the degree of severity can vary quite a lot. They can’t admit being wrong and are hypersensitive to anything that resembles criticism. They want to control how other people see them and can presented in any number of ways. “Narcissists come in all shapes, sizes, and degrees,” says Dr. Samuel Lopes DeVictoria, “He/she may look, by appearance, intimidating and scary to the average person. He could also play the “nice guy/person” whom everyone likes. 

1. Lies and Exaggerations

Narcissists are likely to create lies and exaggerations which is usually about themselves and even about others, and have the tendency of putting others down to make themselves seem better by comparison. Though narcissists often try to make themselves seem superior and “special” by either bragging (directly or indirectly), taking credit for things they shouldn't be taking credit for, and other forms of self-aggrandizing behavior, narcissists tend to focus on making others feel inferior through criticism, and intimidation. Narcissists are are often proficient at distorting facts, character assassinations, and intimidation to boost their self-worth and maintain an image.

Free £59.50 from Topcashback. Click here to learn how!

2. Rarely Admit Flaws and Are Highly Aggressive When Criticized

Many narcissists can react poorly when called up on their negative behavior. When challenged, the narcissist is likely to do one of a few things; fight,have a temper tantrum, make excuses, flat out denial, shift the blame elsewhere or just use passive aggression like the silent treatment or resentment. The Narcissist can resort to deflection by using criticisms against their to counter any that was made originally to them to either intimidate or oppress their victim. Some Narcissists view relationships as competitive rather than collaborative team based relationship where one has to be in control or on top of the other.

3. False Image Projection

Narcissists tend to project false images of themselves to the world, in order to hide their shortcomings and insecurities.They give themselves his “trophy complex" where they use people, objects, accomplishments to further feed into their exaggerated personas and self image, similar to self completion theory. Many narcissists like to view themselves as someone who is all-powerful and strong, with their opinion being the one that matters most regardless of who they actually are or what the situation is. In essence, narcissists want others to worship them, these external facades become pivotal parts of their false identity, replacing the real and more vulnerable self.

4. Manipulation and control

Narcissists have a tendency to make decisions for others bend to their own agenda. Narcissists may use people who are acquaintances or even people who are close to cover up any flaws and shortcomings. Narcissists are not above of using guilt, blame, and victim-hood as tactics to manipulate their victimsNarcissists conduct psychological manipulation toward individuals micromanaging and controlling relationships, including their victims how they should think, feel, and behave and they can often become critical, intimidating, and/or hostile toward those who displease them. 

While the narcissist manipulate to compensate for a desperate sense of deficiency (a lacking of self worth of who they really are), this psychological type have an inability or an unwillingness to actually relate to people  as human beings. They have a need to become “special” and “superior” by being less themselves and de-humanizing others.

Continue

Sibling Relationship Psychology

Out of all the relationships throughout our lives whether it's a friendship, parent/child relationship or a romantic relationship one of the most unique and powerful bonds we may have is the relationships with our siblings. Our siblings are usually the ones that we share our life journey's with from a young age all the way across to our adult years and during that journey you experience the ups and downs, family woes, jealousy and hostility towards each other, competitiveness, joint responsibilities and most of all the joys of being part of a family unit.

Jeffrey Kluger a science writer and author of the book The Sibling Effect: What the Bonds Among Brothers and Sisters Reveal about Us speaks in this video about not only the common characteristics and behaviours of individual siblings in a given family but he also talks about how parental influences effect how siblings develop and interact to gain attention by cultivating their individual roles within the family household. A particularly interesting segment of the talk is where he speaks about parents and sibling favouritism, he briefly speaks about how opposite gender resemblance is a common factor when parents have a favourite child whether the parents know this or not; for instance the hard headed father may favour the no nonsense daughter because he see's a little of himself within her or the soft speaking mother may favour the quietly spoken son because of their similarities. Kluger describes it as a sense of reproductive narcissism from the parent to their favourite. This is a very profound talk from a very good speaker who cites some of the studies based on the topic of sibling bonds, it  generally is a topic which would likely relate to most people, a great talk and very interesting overall.

Continue

Understanding introverts

Normally misunderstood, introverts generally are lower energy and conservative than their extravert counterparts, but because western society often favours the extravert for their gregarious nature and their outwardly focused approach to life and the people within it introverts often get looked over and even worse misunderstood. As written previously in this post regarding introverts sometimes being introverted can be misconstrued as shy, reserved, even unsociable but in actual fact it is just a lower energy way of interacting with their given environment and they are energised by lower energy activities such as reading, socializing with a smaller group of close friends and long walks.

Susan Cain, the author of Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking speaks in this video below in depth about introversion and their inner strengths and characteristics as well as how some environmental factors such as businesses, classrooms and even group think have their part to play when utilising an introvert personality. She also talks about her own personal experiences on being an introvert and how it affects her, a truly illuminating video from a speaker who clearly has had a lot of experience and done a good level of research on this subject.  

Continue

The Dark Triad. The personality of evil.

First introduced by Psychologists Delroy L. Paulhus and Kevin M. Williams the dark triad is a set of overlapping personality traits which host a group of undesirable behaviours. These three personality traits are narcissism, machiavellism and psychopathy. Some may say that these traits are can bring out the worst in human behaviour. People who score high on the dark triad personality scale can be manipulative, have a high sense of worth, with a superficial charm while lacking a considerable sense of empathy for others.

These are the three personality traits and their respective descriptions which make up the dark triad. 

Narcissism
- High sense of entitlement
- Seek status and prestige
- An aura of cockiness
- Can be highly self centred
- Engage in a lot of short term hook ups
- Easily aggressive in the face of criticism
- Loves praise

Psychopathy
- Has a superficial charm
- Have an inflated view of their own abilities
- Lack of empathy for others emotions
- High levels of deception, manipulativeness and craftiness
- Lack of remorse or guilt
- Highly impulsive
- Generally has a bad temper

Machiavellism
- Manipulates others to get their own way
- Very cunning and calculative
- Very intelligent
- Highly observant
- Very aware of situations and surroundings


People who possess the dark triad personality traits are manipulative in nature and are well aware of what they can and cannot get away with, this maybe because they are either high in intelligence or they have had a lot of experience in social interactions so as a result they know which kinds of people they are dealing with and know what buttons to push without bringing too much attention to themselves. Their social mindfulness means that they are usually well aware of how they come across to people and have a good handle on their appearance, this goes hand in hand with their narcissism; their up keep to how they appear not only involves how people perceive them but how they look physically such as their fashion, posture, physique etc. Because of their narcissistic tendencies it would be hard to form close friendships with them as they would be more concerned with maintaining and improving an image rather than keeping a close friendship.  
Keeping in mind that they are manipulative and care significantly about their image, what may give them an edge coupled with the characteristics previously mentioned is their lack of social fearlessness. This means that they are more likely to do what they would want to do without fear of being judged by others as long as it doesn't interfere with their perceived status. Surprisingly being emotionally cold in the face of potential social judgement can be seen as a good characteristic to have because you are more likely to take up opportunities you wouldn't otherwise take if you were feeling self conscious or have the feeling the you are being judged. On the other hand this emotionally coldness can be a hindrance on an interpersonal level as a dark triads lack of thought for other peoples thoughts or feelings mean that they may lack a filter for their words and actions which at some point or another may offend or upset someone. Again this can make it difficult to keep long term relationships as most people will find this trait emotionally draining and would not like to have someone this insensitive around them.

SIGN UP. VERIFY. RECEIVE $5 IN FREE BITCOIN. ONLY WITH NBX! CLICK HERE!

The dark triad can come in different forms, they be someone who is an emotional bully, talking down to others while seeking status and prestige; this can be a corporate boss or an ambitious corporate employee where their line of work involves using people as a vehicle to reach their aims; their general mentality is that the ends justifies the means regardless of who gets hurt. The person with a dark triad personality can also be one who is calculating, impulsive and doesn't think about the consequences of their actions nor cares about them; this can be someone who is promiscuous, has a lot of sexual partners and finds a way to engage with someone sexually even if they are in a relationship, or someone who takes joy in taking risks at the expense of others such as a conman or fraudster. The list can go on.

Of course most people on some level can and do display any one trait or all of the three traits which make up the dark triad as these characteristics are helpful in certain situations such as attracting a potential mate, bad boys are especially good at this because they are typical dark triads in nature. Their narcissism means they look after how they look, combined with their machiavellism means that they are in control and know what the are doing while the psychopathy (not in the serial killer sense) part of them means that they are impulsive and exciting without caring too much about any particular outcome which is also very attractive. Using some of these traits in your personal life without being excessive with them can be helpful rather than a hindrance, keeping in mind that moderation is key.  

Have you asked your self ''am I a dark triad?'' or ''do I display some of these characteristics?'' Take this dark triad test to see how much of the traits discussed you exhibit. You may find the results interesting.

Continue

Being an extrovert: The good and the bad.

A term first introduced by psychologist Carl Jung, extraversion is a personality trait where a person directs their energy outwards by seeking stimulus from either being social and outgoing, taking risk taking activities and generally seeking excitement from the outside environment. These traits are contrary to being an introvert. The modern western world often praises extrovert characteristics which is usually perceived as being well adjusted and often socially intelligent; to quote Susan Cain the author of the book Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking ...

 ''We live in a culture of personality, where extraversion is ideal, a far departure from the past that was the culture of character which prized honour and discipline.''

Naturally being an extrovert comes with a lot more emotionally rich experiences leading to possibly a more varied lifestyle than introverts; usually keeping an eye open to meet new people and networking opportunities extroverts generally have more doors opened for them due to the sheer amount of socializing they do and prefer being around the company of other people and being included in novelty or risky taking situations.

Extrovert characteristics
These are the general characteristics of  someone with an extravert personality may possess, though this may not be an absolute description for every extrovert but it will give you a good outline of their overall demeanour.

- Outspoken
- Thrives in the company of other people
- Constantly seeks new experiences
- Easily bored
- Drawn to crowds
- Generally quite animated
- Assertive
- Responsive to external stimulus 
- Opinionated

Pro's of being an extrovert
There are definitely some positives in regards to having an extrovert personality trait. Extroverts are very outgoing and are usually motivated to attend social gatherings and mingle with new people exposing themselves to a variety of social interactions, this may explain why extroverts usually have a story to tell because of this frequent exposure to new interactions and situations. On a similar note because of the quantity of interactions extroverts get involved in they learn their social skills at a faster rate than an introvert would. Their constant craving for social interactions and proactiveness in this regards means that they can make friends easily, are easy to get to know as they often let their thoughts and feelings be known and love to be engaged in conversation to a wide variety of people whether it is one on one or a group discussion. Extroverts aren't known to shy away from the spotlight they can handle social pressure quite well while some may even welcome it, this comes with their love of being the focus of attention; a reason why you may find a large amount of extroverts in the entertainment industry. They usually are very upbeat people with high self esteem, with the ability to make many friends they can flourish in circumstances where there are groups and even crowds of people. Lastly their lust for excitement can translate into their lifestyle or hobbies they choose, they can be career choices such as being in the media, being a fire-fighter, deep sea diver etc., or risk taking ventures like skydiving, tornado chasing or maybe an extreme sport like rock climbing or snowboarding. These kind of hobbies or career choices keeps their day emotionally rich and keeps them highly engaged mentally also.

Free £59.50 from Topcashback. Click here to learn how!

Con's of being an extrovert
Believe it or not being extroverted does have some down falls despite the positives discussed earlier. Though extroverts do have the ability to meet and greet with a lot of people; often a lot of the people an extrovert meets will just be acquaintances and nothing more and that means a lot of shallow relationships, this is because there often isn't enough time to delve in and develop a meaningful relationship with each and every person they meet. From time to time they also may have to learn to break off from undesirable relationships because due to the sheer amount of people they may meet they will eventually come across people they feel they do not mingle well with or worse not get along with at all. The need to be constantly engaged with another person can be a hindrance to the extrovert  as they can find it quite difficult to be alone or in solitude for too long, even something as simple as reading a book in a quiet room can be quite a task to some extroverts, they find that either they get incredibly bored very easily or their mind starts to wonder due to their short attention span and need for an external stimulus. People can see extroverts as attention seekers and even a little shallow. Though most people enjoy the company of an extrovert person because of their upbeat nature, with enough time they can feel a sense hollowness in  their relationship between them and the extrovert because they feel they haven't really gotten to know them past their social persona.


As stated in the last post no one is completely extroverted or introverted and are usually a balance between the two and may swing one way or the other depending on a variety of factors.

Continue

Being an Introvert: The good and the bad.

Introversion, a term introduced in the 1920's by psychologist Carl Jung is a personality trait or an attitude where a person is prone to directing their energy towards themselves whether it's from deep reflective thinking, reading books or just enjoying their own company, where as extroverts directing their energy outwards with activities such as socializing, playing a team sport, risk taking etc. In the modern world today it is more desirable to be more extroverted and outgoing, this is where you have people encouraging other people to ''go get yourself noticed'' or ''let your voice be heard'' or ''show everyone what your made of'', with that said people with an introvert personality can often be misconstrued as being withdrawn and shy but actually this isn't the case at all. Introverts aren't necessarily unsociable, they are just sociable in a different way to extroverts, they prefer more low key activities involving close friends in a small group setting or deep, intimate one to one conversations with a good friend.

Introvert characteristics
These are some general characteristics someone with an introvert personality may possess, though this may not be an absolute description for every introvert but it will give you a good outline of their overall demeanour.

- Quiet
- Have a few but close friends
- Enjoy their own company
- Independent
- Internally energised
- Self Aware
- Keeps their personal life to themselves
- Don't impose themselves vigorously
- Deep/complex thinkers



Pro's of being an Introvert
Contrary to the negative connotations of an introvert personality and their psychology, there are of course advantages to being an introvert. Generally being less talkative than others introverts lend towards having good listening skills making them good at connecting and empathizing with the people they interact with because they are able to allow the other person to talk more and let them reveal more of their thoughts and feelings than they otherwise would with someone who talks just as much or a lot more, this is one of the reasons why introverts can hold deep and meaningful conversations as they are able to give the other party their full attention. Because most introverts are natural deep thinkers they can give you in depth and well thought out answers when in conversation and when faced with a difficult decision they are likely to weigh up there options logically and carefully which is why they can be effective leaders such as Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and Abraham Lincoln. Lastly introverts can be very independent because they often don't need approval and can enjoy their own company while concentrating on close relationships instead of many acquaintances which can make them quite private as people giving them an aura of mystery which can perk peoples interest.



Learn how to make Simple Side Income and crypto online. Click here!

Con's of being an Introvert
In the modern age where being an extrovert is seen as desirable and seems to open more doors especially in sales and the entertainment industry being an introvert definitely has its disadvantages. Because they are private in nature and guard their thoughts and emotions it can be difficult for them to form friendships with many people, this maybe partly because they are not as socialized as other people having not learnt the necessary skills to be a social butterfly due to being used to having their own personal space and distance. Another disadvantage is the ability to be outspoken or speak their mind, this can be in the workplace situation or in a social setting making them feeling isolated and cause them to withdraw even further than they have already. Though being introvert or enjoying your own company isn't usually the problem, it is the perception of being an introvert which can make people think it is a social deficiency to not want to be constantly around others, this in itself can itself cause people to doubt your character and perceive you differently to other people.

Usually people aren't a complete introvert or even completely extroverted, they usually are a balanced between the two depending on how they feel, how their day pans out or maybe the environment they are currently in requires them to be more one than the other. Having a mixture of both is necessary as balance is more beneficial than extremes.

The next post will be discussing the psychology of extroverts and both their advantages and disadvantages.

Continue

Sibling psychology

Scientists and researchers of psychology believe birth order has influence over the development of our personality though there are many other factors as to how you initially turn out e.g. relationships, life experience, DNA etc. The mixture of your sibling order whether being first, second, third or fourth child and how your parents treat you because of your birth order aids in your overall behaviour and has an effect to how you develop in your infant, teen to adult life. These traits may not be apparent with absolutely every child in correlation to their birth order but they are a common occurrence in their ranking or birth order.

First child

The first child is known to be the most adult like of all the siblings this may be because the parents are still learning the ropes on how to raise a child and want to get it right the first time so there will be more attention and one on one time with their child, being the oldest sibling they will naturally learn to be conscientious and develop leadership skills as they learn to look after their younger brothers or sisters acting similar to a surrogate parent which will give them a sense of responsibility and gain authoritative skills. With more overall interactions with their parents than the rest of their siblings first borns mature quicker and tend to aspire to be more driven, and ambitious and high achievers.

Because in their infancy they typically interact with their parents more it is arguable that they aspire to be like parents or at least want to replicate some their behaviours learning to be more controlled and understand tasks quicker at an earlier age. this translates to later stages in life in their careers.

Characteristics of the first born.

-More serious than most children

-Has a high sense of responsibility

-More adult like than other children

-Can be quite controlling over other children

Middle child

Because they are not the first child or the baby of the family the middle child often feels left out of place, they feel they have no real significance or status in the family so they of set out to make their own, this can be in a form of a rebellious streak, attention seeking or even extreme secrecy (think emo's). Though they do feel a sense of isolation they normally are emotionally savvy and have good intuition as some learn to play off their older siblings and learn to interact with their younger siblings.

As adults middle children generally are socialites and able to make friends with a wide variety of different people this maybe because of their challenging role in their family unit having no real role as the responsible first born who looks after the younger sibling s or the immature last born who gets a lot of attention by being the baby of the family, so having to work harder to gain attention this means creating their own ways of interacting with the family. As a result they learn to be in tune with their siblings emotions making them exceptionally good with people in the long run.

Characteristics of the middle child.

-Sometimes rebellious

-Outgoing and friendly

-Very adaptable

-Struggles for attention

-Risk taking tendencies

Last borns

Being the baby of the family the last born is know to be free spirited, creative and outgoing often they can be mischievous and quite aware they can get away with it, this is due to parents having a more relaxed attitude to his or her up bringing as they would have had several children already making them less authoritative to the younger children. Usually they are frequently spoiled and used to getting their own way making them quite confident in themselves in regards to socializing with other children and at times they are very charismatic. Generally quite happy as children they go through their infant years getting spoilt and being looked after teaching them that they can get attention at a whim, knowing this they get used to the attention and this carries itself into their adult years.

In their adult years last born's are very social, great at making friends and are charismatic. Used to getting their own way they love the spotlight, their careers usually involve people and socializing such as sales, acting, being a musician and being television presenters.

Free £59.50 from Topcashback. Click here to learn how!

Characteristics of the last born.

-Spontaneous

-Manipulative

-Used to getting their own way

-Love the limelight

-Very sociable

-Can be quite self centred

-Can get bored quickly

-Can be charming or charismatic

Only children

These children by far out of the other children with siblings are very close to being little adults this is because they have limited interactions with other children, since they have no siblings they wind up learning a large chunk of their behaviour from their parents which explains why they are normally quite independent and controlled in comparison to other children. They are very mature, very responsible but they can be quite spoilt being the only child in the house and the centre of attention, this can make them demanding and self centred.

As adults they strive to be successful and often they are, this is potentially because of high exposure to adults at a young age, they also can be fussy and want everything their own particular way as that is what they are used to .

Characteristics of the only child.

-Gets along with adults easier than other children

-Natural leader

-High level of self control

-Can be demanding due to being spoilt

-Mature and responsible

Continue

Self image.

A persons self image is a collection of ideas, thoughts and experiences they have in regards to themselves. It is a mental picture of the self which can be subject to change, and when it does it's either through external experiences or through internalizing judgement and/or feedback from others. This is how we create our self concept, it is how we think we look, how we think we come across to others, and more importantly how we perceive ourselves. 

The construction of the self

In early childhood the self image is obviously at its infancy, we haven't gained barely any life experience to properly have an idea of what the self is. We are essentially a blank slate. Roughly at the early of age of 3 years old we begin to become aware of ourselves through experience of other objects within our close surrounding areas realising we can affect objects around us and from there on curiosity ensues. We begin touching things, putting things in our mouth, we explore what's around us. Fast forward a few years to where we have now developed speech and we can now voice our own opinions, more importantly voice our opinions about ourselves. At this age we are a bit more self aware, when we describe our selves we give very definitive labels such as I am tall, I have blue eyes, I have dark hair. Then as time goes on and we become older we learn more about ourselves then these labels become more intricate and they become more comparative using more qualities, traits and evaluations depending on how you think others see you. (think about when you was asked about yourself in a job interview)

High self esteem
This is when we have an overall positive self image, this is created through positive experiences, positive interactions with other people and having the perception of all experiences as positive overall even if they don't seem to be (important). This mentality has an affect on your actions by giving you confidence and conviction with everything you do and with that you will have the ability to not think about what others are thinking and will accept yourself as you are. There are other factors such as...

-Good, strong sense of self
-Having good respect for your own self beliefs and values
-Knowing your self and what you stand for
-Knowing your own strengths


 Low self esteem
As opposed to high esteem having low self esteem generally having a poor self image. This is created through bad experiences whether it is through people being negative towards you or experiencing bad situations. Like having high self esteem often it is just the perception of a situation as negative which can keep the person in a negative loop, the more they think negatively the more likely that person will interpret a situation as negative even if its positive.
Other factors are..

-Weak sense of self
-You feel at cause not affect (''Why me?'' as opposed to ''how did I do this?'')
-Little or no beliefs or values
-Low self respect
-Fixation on own weaknesses instead of strengths

Social comparison theory

A theory first coined by social psychologist Leon Festinger in 1954, according to his social psychology based theory it has been said that individuals have a drive to evaluate themselves and their behaviors to eliminate uncertainty. People are often comparing their behaviors and skills to others to have an idea of what is correct and how good they are at their current behavior or skill level, similar to observational learning. He also theorizes that there are two types of social comparisons, an upward comparison and a downward comparison. An upward comparison is when someone compares themselves who are better off, an amateur boxer comparing himself to a professional boxer is an example, this usually happens if someone is looking for a role model or wants to make improvements on themselves.

A downwards comparisons by contrast is when someone who compares themselves to someone who is worse off than them, an example is a well paid sales man comparing himself to a school janitor, this type of comparison typically makes a person makes feel better about themselves, this is why people with low self esteem tend to make downward comparisons. 

There are two forms of downward comparisons, the first is a passive downwards comparison when someone who compares themselves to a pre-existing negative situation such as someone who is in financial difficulty comparing themselves to someone who is already homeless, the other is an active downwards comparison where somebody creates a situation were someone is worse off than them this could be with the use of derogatory comments or making sure they feel belittled through humiliation or an ''accident'' giving them the opportunity to make a downwards comparison. Again, downwards comparisons are usually used by people with low self esteem to elevate their sense of self.

Continue